Injury Woes

Being sidelined by an injury, even a minor one, forces me to a screeching halt. I suddenly want to do what I should not do. My brain, anticipating my predictable absence of reason, sends out urgent pleas for sanity--"You need to rest!!!", while every molecule in my body tries to brush those messages away.

There is something inside me--an uncontrollable yearning for sweat, pain, work, endorphins. I feel like a junkie, seeking out the natural opiates, needing that fix: one more row, one more run, 20 minutes on an erg. I argue with my brain, claiming that a run is "cross training" and is ok. I point out that 20 minutes on the erg is nothing compared to 2 hours in a boat. I claim sculling is different than sweeping. I make excuses like an alcoholic. "I can take a day off if I want."

But when it comes down to it, a day off is hell.

Today I did no exercise. None. I woke up at 5:30am before the alarm. My body jumped up on its own, ready for its morning fix of adrenaline. But I am injured. I drank coffee instead. I read the paper cover to cover. I showered. I dressed and headed to work. I was an hour earlier than usual.

Work was slow. I felt lethargic and tired. My body craved that fix it was not getting. Yet my appetite never slowed. I ate my first breakfast, second breakfast, lunch, afternoon snack and dinner. I wasn't full despite a day without exercise.

The smartest thing I did was to visit my massage therapist. He pried his hands deep into the pain and tightness, working his magic on my muscles. I will be sore tomorrow, but I know that he is my best hope for recovery.

By the end of today, I am bouncing off the walls. I am proud of myself for taking a day off, but I am ready to row or run tomorrow. Just how long a rest do I need? How much pain is pathologic? Is this pain just passing?

At 43 years old, after 12 marathons, after 30 years of athletic performance--pepper with minor injuries, I should know my body. And I do. But I should also be wary of my brain, trying to cut corners, trying to skip out on recovery time, ignoring the obvious. But I do not pay attention. I know the price, but I also know the endorphin high. How long can I hold out?

Today was a successful rest day. I made it through one 24 hour period with no exercise. I will not sleep well tonight. And tomorrow will dawn. I will wake before my alarm. My body will jump up, ready for its morning fix of adrenaline.

Will I be good, make coffee, read the paper, and allow my body to fully recover? Or will I succumb and go for that forbidden run?