assuming risk

Women in pregnancy are beautiful--strong and vulnerable. They are also worried, feel responsible for things that are beyond their control, and beg for guarantees that everything will be fine.

H1N1 is the question of the month--should I get the vaccine? Does it contain mercury? Will that harm the baby? Will it cause long term effects? Should I drink milk? Should I eat fish? How much omega-3 supplements do I need?

The list goes on. And on.

I can give quick answers to all these questions. The expert imparting advice to the patient. But that will not help her move on. She cannot trust her body to give birth, or her instincts to parent if she cannot trust now.

So rather than prescribe doses and impart CDC guidelines (which I will do later), I start talking about risk, decision-making, and doing the best we can in an imperfect world.

I once read somewhere (and I no longer have any idea of where) that seventy thousand Americans die each year from breathing polluted air. These are not people who died of emphysema or asthma, or other underlying conditions. Their lungs just clogged up with the sulfur dioxide, carbon monoxide, ozone, and nitrogen oxides produced by fossil fuels, and their pulmonary oxygen transport ceased.

And yet we don't think of breathing as dangerous.

I wish I could help women breathe, assume risk, let go of an excessive sense of responsibility, and just enjoy their pregnancies.

Life does not carry a money-back guarantee. You do not have to parent perfectly. Your child will not be perfect. You can just hope for a lifetime full of fleeting moments when you look into your child's eyes and believe they are perfect.