the joy of the erg

After 6 months of rowing, my first season on the water finally came to an end. I am resigned to the onset of winter, and have headed indoors for winter training. Tanks and weight training are completely new to me, and I am learning just how slow I am at the catch, and how much more I have to learn at the finish. Weight training has helped me identify at least 7 muscle groups that I appear to be genetically lacking. These weekly classes are sure to identify further personal deficits, although the instructors are positively lovely. "Robyn you are doing really well. That backsplash is great." "Robyn, bench pressing 30 pounds is a terrific starting place." "Robyn, your form really isn't so terrible."

Ha. I know better. But I guess the coaches want me to keep coming back, so they can keep their income. Makes sense.

But the erg. Ah the erg. Indubitably invented during the Spanish Inquisition, the rowing machine has been greatly improved with the advent of electronics and the "painometer" screen which tells you just how slowly you are pulling on that chain, despite your screaming quads, and searing lungs. It is the only form of torture that Amnesty International doesn't protest.

And it provides equal amounts of psychological and physical pain.

In a boat, you can be anonymous. On an erg, anyone can come up behind you and watch over your shoulder to see exactly how hard you are working, and how slow you really are.

It is embarrassing.

As a marathoner, I know about steady state. I can pull forever at a decent pace. But rowers do these periodic evaluations called 2ks. These are effectively sprints. Rowers also do intervals--not unknown in the world of running, but marathoners don't do short intervals. Rowers do. And I discovered that 250 meter erg intervals--all out--12 times--is among the worst forms of torture I know. I may need to write Amnesty directly.

I have learned many things from the erg, but here are the top ten.

1-Ergs are more pleasant than tempo runs at 5 degrees fahrenheit. Or 35 degrees and raining.

2-Ergs are less fun than easy runs at 50 degrees and sunny.

3-Always check your drag factor. As one of the tiniest people to use the ergs at CRI, it is likely the previous person was pulling against a lot more resistance than I could possibly do without sacrificing a couple of vertebral discs. I usually have to lower the resistance by a factor of 2+.

4-while erging, be aware of your coach's location at all times. It is not good to suddenly notice that the 6'7" shadow looming over your shoulder belongs to the man who told you to hold your splits at 1:54. Especially if you are pulling at 2:04. Painful (and potentially embarrassing) conversations are started this way.

5-You know you working at below anaerobic threshold when your lips turn blue and your mouth goes dry. This feels like dying. Or worse. (Erging has provided me with many opportunities to ponder how much worse you can feel than just simply dying.)

6-You can only pull a fast 2k if your lips turn blue and your mouth goes dry.

7-You can't actually stand up off the erg after you have pulled a really fast 2k.

8-Your coach tells you get get up and keep moving precisely when he knows you can't stand up off the erg. Fortunately, he is usually willing to lift you up by your armpits and push you in the direction of the bathroom. To puke.

9-Intervals make you faster. Like cod liver oil makes you healthy. If you don't suffer, you didn't do it right. 

10-If it is true that pain is weakness leaving your body, then my body has lost a lot of weakness this winter. I am now waiting for the strongness to fill in the void....